Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Point of Reference

It's true that every person has some point of reference that they track their lifes events against. For some, it's "Since we got married"... or "Since Baby was born"... it might even be "Since we moved to Lalaland" or "Since I got my money making idea" or even "Since I met my best friend".

My point of reference isn't so hot, so glamorous... but it's still monumental to me.

It's the day I snapped.

Now, snapping is definetly not a pleasant thing to do... I mean it's not at all like the Snap Cup ala Elle Woods in Congress... for me, it's snapping like a tree branch would do when it's had too much pressure against it. It first tries to bend... swaying as much as it can... trying to seem graceful and used to such pressures. But then... it all becomes to much and *snap*... and the even sadder part is that the branch.. the part that actually does the snap... it needs to go because it's no longer a part of the tree. And it takes a lot for that little tree to grow a new branch and be able to sustain the same pressures again.

I am a stay at home mom who loves to stay busy. I try to keep myself involved in as many things as I can... be productive if you will... but the one thing I hate is when people assume that since I stay at home... then I must be caught up with Days of our Lives and have 5 boxes of bonbons ready to go.

No... nobody called me for the cliff's notes of last weeks episode or stopped by for bonbons...

But, I have been called on a moments notice to do things. And not "run to the store and pick up a bag of ice for me" things... the "I need 24 copies of a photo montage (that I haven't made yet) made for my class. It's their end of the year present. Oh... I also don't have any pictures really... so can you take 24 rolls of film to be developed... I don't know what's on them... but can you develop them in the 1 hour... sort them... scan them into your computer... make a montage.. buy the songs to put it too... buy the DVD's to burn... burn a copy for each student... and label them 'My 5th Grade Class'?? I'll pick them up tomorrow morning." kind of things.

Yes... that was a real request.... and I had to bring cupcakes, too.

Well... this weekend was the end of it for me. I had been stretched to the limit. I couldn't take one more little request... no more wedding venue shopping. No more picking up my brother from wherever he tended to be. No more searching for new auto insurance. No more laundry. No more grocery shopping. No more middle of the night feedings... nothing. I had snapped... and to top it off... I even heard the most dreaded words that someone who is overcommitted ever hears...

"You don't do anything anyway. There. I said it."

So... from now until something major changes... I am only doing things for me. I am finding who I am and what I want to do. I am taking a few classes at the local craft store, I am getting caught up on my favorite TV shows. I am enjoying Ryan. That's it.

Ok... and I may go buy a box of bonbons.

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