Time Flies...

I can't believe it was 2 short years ago when Ryan entered our lives in a whirlwind of a childbirth... I've posted his birthstory here, so I won't do that again... but take a look at how he has grown!!

Love you Kiddo!

It's Cool to Play Indoors!

Here's what we have been up to! And don't forget about the giveaway below... I have a funny feeling that the 2 comments are both gonna end up with a cd. ;o)

A FlashBack...

The other night was weird... I was talking to a couple other girls in my Young Marrieds group at church, and they were discussing their previous c-sections. One of the girls just had her 1st two short months ago, due to a "large baby" who ended up weighing 7lbs 2oz. The other had 2 c-sections; one as an "emergency" due to a stuck baby and the other as a routine planned "You-had-a-c-section-so-here-is-another" c-section. The weird part wasn't that they were discussing this, but rather that they were talking about how "nice" they were... how they were glad to have gone through birth this way.

I had a really hard time with this discussion... maybe because my c-section was not as glamorous as your doctor would lead you to believe. Or maybe it's because girl #2 kept saying how drugged up she was and how she couldn't even hold her child because she was in a state of semi-consciousness. But when I was asked why I was going to attempt a "dangerous VBAC", I only replied with "I don't do well with major surgeries."

I came home and looked for my birth story that I typed up regarding Ryan's birth... here it is... and although I wouldn't trade that day for anything (it DID result in my little boy, you know!), it reminds me exactly why I do not want another c-section.

On November 13, 2007, I woke up with a bad pain in my left abdomen. I could have sworn it was appendicitis, but it was on the wrong side... and it wasn't letting up. After about an hour of trying to get comfortable, I woke Dustin up. He encouraged me to try a warm shower.... which took my mind off the pain, but didn't make it go away. It wasn't getting any worse, but it also wasn't getting any better. He called our midwife at the 2 hour mark, telling her that I didn't think it was contractions. That comment was enough to worry her, and she told us to get to the ER asap! We left the house at 8:45am.

We got to the ER and by that point, I couldn't even walk. Dustin had to get the wheelchair and bring it to me in the parking lot, and get me checked in. The wheeled me straight to a bed... no waiting for me! I was hooked up to all the monitors and I was begging for pain meds. Unfortunetly, since they didn't know what was wrong with me, they couldn't give me anything. I was in tears, and my internal exam seriously caused screams (I later felt bad for the other girls in triage the same time as me... I swear some of them probably crossed their legs extra tight to avoid the pain I was in). The monitors reveiled that I was having contractions 1 minute apart, in addition to my pain, and in between contractions my uterus wasn't relaxing. Baby's heartbeat was at 180 beats per minute. I was a 8 on the pain scale... they called the midwife to determine next steps... Time: 9:05am

Midwife says "prep her for a c-section... the Doc will be there shortly". My Doctor jumps in his little Mercedes and gets to the hospital in record time! I am set for surgery, but they can't find the veins to set up the IV because I am too cold and the anesthesiologist needs 2 lines! They tell Dustin and me that because I didn't have time for an epidural, they are going to have to use a general anesthetic and I will be asleep for Baby's birth. Another issue is that Dustin will not be allowed in the operating room. Dustin starts calling our parents to get them to the hospital. Time: 9:17am

I was wheeled back to the operating room... crying the whole time... and it felt like every little thing that they did was torture! I could feel every little time they would remove tape or try to find a vein. I couldn't breathe and I was still in a ton of pain. Finally, Doc said "We're Ready"... and I don't remember the rest. Time: 9:25am

Ryan was born! 8lbs, 8oz, 20.5 inches. Time: 9:36am

They told me it was a possible placental abruption that they caught early... but there were no signs of abruption. I wasn't able to see Ryan in person until 6:30pm that evening due to my anesthesia and them wanting me to walk. They also believed Ryan had pnemonia (he actually didn't) so he stayed in the nursery for 3 days. I couldn't even hold him until the next morning. Talk about real torture. I missed the first cry, the first bath, the first diaper, precious bonding time that I should have gotten. But I got my little boy in the end.

That is why when people tell me to just take the easy way out and plan for the c-section, I tell them "I won't make you push if you promise not to make me have major surgery."

Someday...

Today I was listening to the radio and I heard a song that really hit me in a good way. I mean, a lot of songs "hit me"... I am pregnant and super emotional... but this one just make me say "Huh... that should be written in ink on my planner, on my mirror, on my fridge...." I am sure you get the idea.

Anyway... the song said about how even though things don't seem ideal right now... someday, I am really going to miss this. That is totally where I am right now. I consider myself pretty lucky to be able to stay home with Ryan and do whatever I want to do pretty much... but sometimes things seem to suck. My house isn't clean because I have a toddler that likes to pull everything out. I never plan dinner. I suck at the housewife stuff because I never really was a housewife... and it's hard! But anyway...

I took Ryan to the zoo today with some friends. He had a blast... but every time I'd set him down, he'd go running and screaming and giggling about how funny he was that I couldn't catch him. He has no fear and would go climb in with the monkeys if the zookeeper would let him! And I was just thinking "God... where is this child's mother?!?" He was crazy and out of control. And it didn't end when we left and ran to the bookstore.

But... I remembered the song... and one day... I am really going to miss Ryan being my little bug. I am going to miss my one-on-one time with him. I am going to miss his silly little games and his funny little laughs. When he is a "too-cool-for-Mom" ::gasp:: teenager... I will really miss my little boy who loved to cuddle and explore...

Someday... I'm gonna miss this.

I've been in denial....

So... it's been a while since I posted, so I need to get things caught up...


I am in denial that I am the mother of a toddler... Ryan is now a year old! We had a big birthday party for him, all ocean theme... it was a lot of fun, and I am so glad that his little friends were able to make it!

One other fun thing came of Ryan's 1st birthday party... we announced that we were pregnant! Ryan is going to be a big brother in June... and everyone seems pretty excited about it.

Um.. so yeah... that's about all that is going on right now... But I promise to post a little more often and keep you in the loop... We are going to be making some big changes in 2009 and can't wait to drag you along for the ride!

Ryan's Haircut!

Little Bug's hair has been getting pretty long. and I understand he's supposed to be a baby... and that his long hair is part of being a baby... but I have a serious probably with the baby-mullet. I guess I could call it the bullett... but eh.

So, I was thinking I'd be that mom that makes everything a super special occassion... so I called up SnipIt's, a local child's hair place that boasts a fun atmosphere and cool haircuts for kiddos. What they don't tell you is that it costs less for my hubby to go to GreatClips than it does for Ryan to get a basic haircut... $17! And that doesn't even include a shampoo... what a jip... so I said forget it and decided that I did it once with my hair.... the baby should be a walk in the park.

I grabbed the scissors, a squirt bottle of water, and a comb. Then I pushed the highchair in front of the mirror in our entryway. Et Voila! A barbershop for one! I loaded up the tray with Veggie Pirates Booty (a great alternative to Gerber Puffs, but thats a story for a different day) and got to work!

Ryan did good... and I decided not to take off too much. Just enough to get rid of the bullett and make him super cute for all the baby girls... and to make sure that the next time we are out, I don't get the ubiquitous "SHE".

I think he's pretty cute... but I'm his mom... so I think I am biased... what do you think? (Yeah... that's a shameless ploy to hear about his cuteness from you!)

Buggy's 3/4th Birthday!

Yep... today marks 9 months. So, I guess I could have had another baby by now... but thank God there is only one baby Bug over here! Ryan is getting into all kinds of mischief now... and I can't make this stuff up... Yesterday, he found a bottle of nailpolish in a bin while I was brushing my teeth. He was clapping with it, and then he dropped it... shattering it everywhere... and when I say everywhere, I mean just that. It was in his hair, his clothes, on his face and his legs... not to mention all over the tile in the bathroom. And what does a baby do when they start crying when something breaks... rubs their eyes! I grabbed him up, rinsing his hands and trying to keep him from getting that all in his baby browns.

Next came the bath. Baths are a normal part of our bedtime routine, but tonights had a nice little twist... the pink bottle of non-acetone remover and a bag of cotton balls. While Ryan played with his pink Breast Cancer Awareness rubber duck (the only pink toy Dad will allow), I took cotton ball after cotton ball and wiped off his legs, feet, arms... and gave his head a good rub down. I barely cleaned off his face thinking I'd rather him have a bit of pink sparkles on his face than remover in his eyes.

We finished up the bath with a hefty dose of Johnson's bedtime wash. I love that stuff... and am guilty of lathering myself up in that lavender goodness more than once. I was just hopeful that it would help him sleep longer than the 3 hours stints he calls a good night's rest. We put on his little red dinosaur pajamas (complete with a super cute T-Rex on the front yelling "Rawwwr").

And then, as my buggy is falling asleep... I wonder where the last 9 months went. The pajamas he was sleeping in were ones I swore would never fit him. He is a ball of personality... and mischeif... all rolled into one beautiful little boy.

Love you Ryan!

Thursday 13- Things I can't wait to do with Ryan

There are lots of things I can't wait to do with Ryan... but this is a good list for me... :o)

1. Go School Supply Shopping! Don't even get me started on school supplies... I just love them! I can't wait until I get to pack his little backpack full of colorful goodies all labeled "Ryan". :o)

2. Chase him around the room and hear him scream! This is one of those things that just look like so much fun... and a priceless moment.

3. Christmas time wish lists! I'll include letters to Santa! I can't wait to see these little insights into his mind!

4. Camping in the backyard. I loved doing this as a kid... I hope he loves it as much as I do!

5. Make pancakes. I loved my mom making pancakes for us on Saturday mornings. It was awesome to wake up to that... and I loved adding things like bananas!

6. Go to Disney! I know I just took him... but I want to go again at maybe age 4. I want to see the magic in a way I've never seen before!

7. Halloween time! Uh hello... making a little boys dreams come true with some fabric and face paint??

8. First Little League sports team win! I can't wait to see his face when he is on a winning team!

9. Come up with surprises. Not for him... but have him help me create surprises for others! The pride of a child is awesome!

10. The Zoo! I can't wait to have him yell out the names of animals and the sounds they make as he sees them Live and In Person!

11. Be greeted with Breakfast In Bed. I know that he's gonna love making me a bowl of cheerios and a glass of milk! (Good thing coffee isn't part of my morning routine!)

12. Climb a tree. And just sit there and enjoy it.

13. I can't wait until the first day he tells me a secret. A mother's bond with their children is awesome... but nothing is better than being trusted with my baby's secrets! :o)

Cali

So I never really mentioned it, and I haven't talked about it much since, but we just got back from California. We were visiting my sister who is trying to make it big in Hollywood... no, she's not an actress, she's just trying to find herself really, and I am so proud of her! We were able to stay in her beautiful condo in Brentwood (Thanks Heather!)

Well, what trip to Cali is complete without a trip to the most magical place on earth?? We had to go to Disneyland for Ryan... and he loved it! He went on several of the rides, and we had to get him a set of Ears with his name on them. I was in love with his little Mickey Ears!

Ryan also had his first experience with sand. There were bets going on whether he would eat it... but lo and behold, the sand stayed out of his mouth!

Oh, my Little Bug is growing up! I can hardly believe it. He is already 8 months, going on 4 years... ugh! Stay little forever!

Everything I needed to know about life...

I learned in the first 7 months of motherhood...
...If you don't come into a situation the way you planned, roll with the punches... it was likely not easy for others either.
...Simplify... you don't need more, and although the easiest way may cut corners, at least things get done!
...Enjoy each night of sleep as though it were your last! You don't know what tomorrow may deal you, and you may be up all night because of it!
...No matter what you think, someone else has been there, and is willing to make your life easier if you are willing to listen to their story!
...It won't break if your actions are full of love.
...Always see the world through the eyes of a child, especially when it comes to safety!
...Nothing beats a good nap.
...The best things in life come in tiny packages, trimmed with daddy's nose and momma's toes!

And he's mobile!

Yeah... I know that I was just posting about how Ryan wants to be mobile... but now he is... he's officially crawling. I wish I was more excited about this... but its actually much more work for me, and he absolutely detests me holding him now. Unless he's hungry. In which case, he totally is all over me, and there is nothing in the world better than me... Dustin wants me to make him a shirt that says, "I'm hungry, show me your boobs." But, I digress.

So, here's the video of the monster in action... yeah, his middle name isn't Grace, but he just likes making a big presentation of the warm-up so you really appreciate the main show!



In other news, I am doing a bit of home remodeling (ok, I am really just turning my closet into my craftroom/office because Dustin is too big to share) and some more life changes (I started going green a few months ago... now watch me get healthy!

So long as I don't bore you... I'll put more pictures up of before/after stuff... and actually might embarrass myself with how bad the before's are... :o)

I never realized how much I hated disposables...

Diapers that is....

We have been cloth diapering successfully for a month or so... but this week we are on "vacation" and decided that instead of me trying to find a laundromat and sit there for a few hours to clean diapers half way through our trip, we'd just use disposables.

I actually didn't have any at home... and just my luck that Ryan is in between sizes. Pampers Swaddlers are my favorite (or at least they were) and they had a 2-3 size, so we bought a big pack and started using them the day before we left so that all of his Fuzzibunz would be at home waiting for his chubby bunz to get home. :o) They fit pretty well... and the rest got packed in our suitcase.

No blowouts, no pee soaked clothes... but I do have one major complaint... the smell! I am changing Ryan more now than I do normally with the cloth, but he just stinks of urine all day long. Or at least I thought it was urine. The diapers actually have a very funny chemical smell even before they are put on his tush... and its funny to me that I have noticed this now. I remember thinking when Ryan was a newborn how "great" the Swaddlers smell was, especially compared to Huggies and Luvs. They seemed to smell powder-y... like a newborn baby should smell!

However, now I am used to a diaper smelling like, well... nothing! My cloth diapers smell like water... and when Ryan is done using them... and I clean him up, he smells like a baby! Not like some chemically induced version of a baby!

D even changed him and said, "Ok... Mommy wins. No more 'sposies for you!"

:::smiles:::

One, Drill Sargent!

Ryan has been trying to crawl for a while now... I guess being in one spot for a while is only fun when... well... I guess it's not that fun ever.

So, he's now determined to get somewhere... and get there as fast as he can. However, his body isn't ready to move forward just yet. He has figured out how to roll over, how to scooch around to get into things... but this picture shows the extent of his "crawling" at this time... that's right... he's in the push up position. Shortly after this... he lunges forward, doing a direct face plant into the carpet... and that gummy smile turns into the biggest frown... and he starts to cry.

I embrace my bad mommy self... and I giggle... I mean, seriously... what else am I going to do? It's this friction that causes progress... and I know that in a few more months... I will be remembering this wonderful time when I had time to take a photograph before he got into trouble...

Love You, Ryan!

My Type...

I know this is a knock off from those Johnson and Johnson's commercials... but still... ;o)

I used to always go for the blond hair, blue eyed guy with great teeth.

Who would have thought that a toothless brown-eyed brunette would steal my heart?

What I do all day...

Today was a Friday... and Friday's are days that I meet with my Breastfeeding Mom's Support Group. Normally, we meet at the hospital, with a lactation consultant who provides us with a topic for discussion. I love this group... and I honestly believe that without this group, I never would have made it as far as I have with nursing Ryan(but I'll save that for another day).

Well, we found out a couple weeks ago that we weren't going to be able to meet at the hospital this week because our normal meeting room had fallen through due to a scheduling glitch. The LC suggested a park day... but due to the 90+ degree days we had been having, I offered up my living room as a place for our babies to get to know each other as much as babies actually do... and for us mom's to catch up.

In preparation for this... I cleaned my house... big time! I even bought a steam cleaner to do the carpets... and to make a long story not so long... 10 am (our meeting time) came and went, without anyone arriving. However, about 10:15, my good friend Mia showed up with her baby... and then 2 other ladies showed up at 10:30... one complaining about bad directions while the other gushed about great directions, go figure.

Well, we sat there and played with our babies... when one mom turned to me and said "What do you do all day?" I thought for a second... did she not see my sparkling clean house? My well behaved dogs playing in the backyard? She must have missed that I have a 5 month old this entire time... but alas, the question was still unanswered...

"I hang out."

It was honest... and in all actuality, it was kind of sad. I mean, please tell me that I know I do more than 'hang out'?? I wanted to say everything that I was thinking... but at the same time, I was trying to figure out why I needed to justify what I do... I have a huge job, nay, career, called 'Being a Mom'. Although it doesn't seem like much to some, I am shaping a tiny little man into a great gentleman. He is going to be the guy that a girl is happy to bring home to meet her parents. He's going to make his community proud by doing things to contribute... and things that are actually worthwhile. I am teaching him how to converse on topics that he has yet to imagine are important. I am showing him compassion everytime I hold him when he is sad. I can see his love for animals every time he laughs when the dogs lick his little face. I can even tell he is going to have his mother's love for food... reaching for everything in site... and expressing his love or disdain with his ever expressive eyebrows. I am molding him into who he is going to be... and it's not always easy.

"That's it?" she asked.

"Yep... for now."