I had a really hard time with this discussion... maybe because my c-section was not as glamorous as your doctor would lead you to believe. Or maybe it's because girl #2 kept saying how drugged up she was and how she couldn't even hold her child because she was in a state of semi-consciousness. But when I was asked why I was going to attempt a "dangerous VBAC", I only replied with "I don't do well with major surgeries."
I came home and looked for my birth story that I typed up regarding Ryan's birth... here it is... and although I wouldn't trade that day for anything (it DID result in my little boy, you know!), it reminds me exactly why I do not want another c-section.
On November 13, 2007, I woke up with a bad pain in my left abdomen. I could have sworn it was appendicitis, but it was on the wrong side... and it wasn't letting up. After about an hour of trying to get comfortable, I woke Dustin up. He encouraged me to try a warm shower.... which took my mind off the pain, but didn't make it go away. It wasn't getting any worse, but it also wasn't getting any better. He called our midwife at the 2 hour mark, telling her that I didn't think it was contractions. That comment was enough to worry her, and she told us to get to the ER asap! We left the house at 8:45am.
We got to the ER and by that point, I couldn't even walk. Dustin had to get the wheelchair and bring it to me in the parking lot, and get me checked in. The wheeled me straight to a bed... no waiting for me! I was hooked up to all the monitors and I was begging for pain meds. Unfortunetly, since they didn't know what was wrong with me, they couldn't give me anything. I was in tears, and my internal exam seriously caused screams (I later felt bad for the other girls in triage the same time as me... I swear some of them probably crossed their legs extra tight to avoid the pain I was in). The monitors reveiled that I was having contractions 1 minute apart, in addition to my pain, and in between contractions my uterus wasn't relaxing. Baby's heartbeat was at 180 beats per minute. I was a 8 on the pain scale... they called the midwife to determine next steps... Time: 9:05am
Midwife says "prep her for a c-section... the Doc will be there shortly". My Doctor jumps in his little Mercedes and gets to the hospital in record time! I am set for surgery, but they can't find the veins to set up the IV because I am too cold and the anesthesiologist needs 2 lines! They tell Dustin and me that because I didn't have time for an epidural, they are going to have to use a general anesthetic and I will be asleep for Baby's birth. Another issue is that Dustin will not be allowed in the operating room. Dustin starts calling our parents to get them to the hospital. Time: 9:17am
I was wheeled back to the operating room... crying the whole time... and it felt like every little thing that they did was torture! I could feel every little time they would remove tape or try to find a vein. I couldn't breathe and I was still in a ton of pain. Finally, Doc said "We're Ready"... and I don't remember the rest. Time: 9:25am
Ryan was born! 8lbs, 8oz, 20.5 inches. Time: 9:36am
They told me it was a possible placental abruption that they caught early... but there were no signs of abruption. I wasn't able to see Ryan in person until 6:30pm that evening due to my anesthesia and them wanting me to walk. They also believed Ryan had pnemonia (he actually didn't) so he stayed in the nursery for 3 days. I couldn't even hold him until the next morning. Talk about real torture. I missed the first cry, the first bath, the first diaper, precious bonding time that I should have gotten. But I got my little boy in the end.
That is why when people tell me to just take the easy way out and plan for the c-section, I tell them "I won't make you push if you promise not to make me have major surgery."
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2 comments:
I honestly don't know how having a C-section could be easier than having a regular birth! I've never had one, but I have heard that the recovery time is so much longer than a vaginal birth... I was up and chasing Aidan around the day after Emerson was born! I did have pain meds and an epidural with both kids, but I was alert and able to hold them and really was fine with walking around with them pretty quickly after they were born. With baby #2 I couldn't wait to get home from the hospital because I wanted to see my little man!
Your story is so scary- I cannot believe it! It's so sad that you didn't get to see little Ryan until so much later that day- I can only imagine.
I think it's great of you to face the risks of a VBAC (which after just 1 c-section aren't as high as after 2...) because you want to be involved in the birth. People these days seem to be so detached from the birthing experience that it takes away some of the magic that comes with it. You'll be in my prayers over the next few weeks!!
You know how I feel about all of this!!! I KNOW you can do the VBAC. I have the utmost faith in you, and I love that YOU have the utmost faith in your body!!!
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