Friends and "Friends"

I have been very lucky to come into a great group of women that I can share almost anything with... and it dawned on me the other day that we have known each other for quite a while... almost 3 years in some cases! We love to get together for drinks, have dates, catch movies and just hang out. I am also blessed to have several other important women in my life... they say a friend for every situation... I have my "mommy" friends, my happy hour friends, my AlwaysHonest friends, my church friends... the ones I go to for a good cry... the ones I go to for a good laugh... and almost all of them are my I'veGotYourBack friends!

And then I have another totally different set of "friends"... I am not talking about the other girls that I talk to and we know of each other... I am talking about the people that bring me in close because they want me to feel like I am their friend. Then come the favors... and not for me. They want to do a bbq at the house while we watch the game. And they bring a single 2-liter bottle of orange soda. Don't get me wrong... I love people pitching in... but a soda? So, I run to the store to grab something of substance... and come home. They mention that they need a swing for the baby... ok... I can do that. I grab the swing and set it up in the living room. I make lunch... and then we are all happy....

Until it's starts getting late... My hubby is getting hungry... and the "guests" are still here... the game is over... and 2 more have come and gone. I can't ask them to leave... but we make no invitation for them to stay longer. She gets up and takes my Ben&Jerry's out of the freezer (new carton no less), and eats.the.whole.thing! I am in shock... anyone who knows B&J knows that the carton should never... never... never be eaten in one sitting! Unless of course you must... but those times are rare!

With B&J gone, she puts her newborn to sleep... on my living room floor... behind the couch. Yep... behind the couch! Her husband is asking random questions about things like "So, how warm do you think the pool is?" and then before you know it, we are outside... by the pool...

Finally, Dustin says that he needs to run back to his office because he left an imaginary project he *needs* on his desk, so we pack them up to leave. They ask to borrow the swing because they don't have one, and we say sure. Away goes my lovely Fisher Price Papasan Nature swing... but at least the "friends" are gone.

Now, anyone who has known me for longer than 5 minutes knows that I love to lend things to people. It shows me that more than one person benefited from my frivolous spending of money... but what drives me nuts is that I just found out that this "friend" has put my swing in storage... "for later"... she has taken several other items from me that I know I will never see again (a breastpump that I bought but never used, a DoodleWrap, numerous baby items). She never pays me back... and she always needs something else. Although my heart is huge... my pockets aren't... and I hate being taken advantage of.

Friends are the ones that make you laugh and understand your pain. They make the world a little brighter and a little bit easier to deal with... and the "friends" are the ones that you don't understand why you try... I hope you all have more of the friends you need in your life! Let's make a pack to undo those "friendships" once and for all... life is too short to pretend to make it work.